Clutter Control

How to approach him on redesign without offending him?

Just moved in with my boyfriend. We’ve done ok with combining our furnishings. He is attached to most everything he has and is not open to changing things around or evolving. I have reorganized and cleaned the entire kitchen—(now he is feeling a bit displaced). He has a lot of STUFF in almost every empty space in the entire house. I hate Clutter. There is even more STUFF with my things added. Any suggestions on how to approach the de-clutter and redesign? Every room is out of control. HELP!!!

Here is a testimonial by flyladys DH link below.

Yes they will feel displaced and perhaps a cook together “day” or “night” is in order ?

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Suggestions for adjusting to living together:

- Talk about your expectations of living together, as they might not always be the same. This might include things about cleaning, having friends over and Money.
- Continue to see friends outside the relationship and take time out for yourself.
- Make sure you get out of house together to do something fun (other than shopping). It helps to keep your relationship from feeling routine and getting into a rut.
- It’s important to talk about any issues that come up. If something is bugging you, there is probably something bugging your boyfriend or girlfriend too.
- Work out how you are going to handle finances. E.g. are you going to divide costs equally or pay for some things separately.
- It’s important that you both have your own space if you feel you need it, be it for study or games.
- Work out who’s going to do what cleaning around the house, so one person doesn’t end up doing all of it.

If things don’t work out
No matter how good your relationship is, there is always potential for change and, although it might not seem possible, things might not work out. For this reason it is usually a good idea to keep some savings in case you need to move out. It might also be a good idea to keep receipts of purchases (as sharing the costs of large items might lead to disputes if you separate).

Personal experience:
My experience is I knew he was a clutter bug,what I did not expect was his attachment to things including bank statments old military uniforms etc…..
Nor did I relaize the displament feelings of the kitchen reorganization and mixing of common kitchen items. I liked mine he liked his.

Never the less after witnessing him being anxious and knowing he was going through the same changes from a differnt perspective we talked and got to know each other all over again in the knew living arragments. I learned not to take reistance as a negative
I created my own space in the house and let things move at a slower pace.

I did box loads of stuff up and actually did a bulk pick up to…
Put my Electrical engineer in contact with those who would be able to use and appreciate his salvaging of electronics.
This created a whole new dynamics. Partners in a values and being able to move as one when needed.

Best to you on your new living arrangments.
Keep asking question and looking for a workable solution.

Mission: Clutter Control

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